Top Valentines Day Dates to Pull Someone Hot
Are you trying to pull someone a little bit hotter than you? According to Nicole Buckler, perhaps you might get a win using these sexy moves.
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This is a very romantic way to impress someone who is a little more interesting than you. You can take them up over the fields of Athlone, over the rolling pastures of Trim in Meath, or sweep them above the castle at Kilkenny. The adventure will be breathtaking as long as you don’t hit powerlines and singe off all their hair.
You will get to see parts of Ireland that only birds get to see…sometimes that isn’t a good thing when those naturist people are suntanning in their back garden. That’s when a birds-eye view utterly betrays you. But we think this is a winner. If you are boring then this will make you seem exciting and interesting. It could swing the love pendulum your way. It’s romantic, it’s breathtaking, it might be freezing…but love will be yours.
Is your beau one of those annoying fit people who likes the outdoors and breathing in fresh air and all that stuff? Well then here is an impressive romantic notion. Take them on a guided walk by moonlight through Wicklow’s wild scenery.
You have to wear hiking boots and rain gear, which is in no way sexy, but the adventure and wild romance of the outdoors will make up for that. As long as you don’t get pooed on by a bat. Which happens in Wicklow. Don’t write in and tell me about it. I know from FRESH EXPERIENCE.
This is the outdoor date of a lifetime, so get some sexy boots and get going. It costs €56 for two people.
For a wildy- romantic Game-of-Thronesy type of experience, you can do a private hawk-walk for two people. Within minutes of arriving you will be introduced to a hawk each. You may even be able to send the hawk to get you a burger if necessary. Well that’s a lie. A bad one. But once you have become friends with your hawk, it will promise that it won’t fly away to a more interesting place. Like, say, beyond the wall, which as we all know is not part of the realm.
You and your beau will set off around the beautiful grounds of Ashford Castle in Mayo, where you will both fly your hawks free. Most of the Hawk Walk time is spent with you both flying your hawks. The hawk will return to you sporadically. Hopefully it won’t gift you a dead rodent, but if it does, suck it up and eat the thing, the hawk was just trying to be nice. This will set you back €120.
Romance and food have been tied together since the beginning of human life. What woman would reject a man who came home with a mammoth to put on the fire? And what man could turn down a woman who made a fine ale from the wild barley she found? These are all signs of true love.
Presenting food is an aphrodisiac, so a good idea for Valentine’s day is one of full food immersion while staying in a gaff that you don’t have to clean yourself.
For Valentine’s, perhaps you could consider enjoying a cookery getaway at Ballyknocken House and Cookery School in the picturesque countryside of Wicklow. When you arrive, your head will be stuffed with tea and cake. You can then relax beside the log fire (this is not in any way a metaphor for copulate) or amble through the forest before returning for a four course set dinner complete with a pre-dinner sherry. I personally think sherry can be consumed before anything, but before dinner is good too. The next day you do your cooking course, and then you are sent home to practise on other humans who you hopefully won’t poison. Just be sure to alert staff of any allergies, no one wants you to die in the egg salad.
It will cost you €438.00.
For something really different and wildly romantic, how about some wet animal watching? Here you can take your lover (or someone you are begging to be your lover) onto a boat in the Atlantic Ocean. You can get up so close to sea animals that you can smell their fish breath.
As dolphins play you can look into your lover’s eyes and expect big kudos. And it’s not just fish-breathed animals that will impress bae, you will also see West Cork’s great coastline, landscapes with its ancient castles, islands as well as other marine life. Bae is gonna be impressed.
You can bring food and drink on board, so get busy packing the choccie strawberries and the champers. If you need to send samples to me first for quality approval please feel free.
One drawback is that you have to dress warmly, so you won’t be able to show as much skin as you usually need to, which would usually tempt bae. But nevermind, just remind yourself that you are naked under your clothes.
The tours run from April to November. But getting the voucher on Valentine’s day is close enough. It will set you back €130.00
This isn’t technically a Valentine’s night out, seeing as the cruises don’t run until April. But you could make wild promises that if your beau will agree to keep being your beau until April, then you will take them on this boat.
For those in the capital, you can cruise lazily up the canal, hopefully not killing the weird swans along the way. I say weird because these swans look at you like they want to nunchuck you in the face. They’s angry. With this cruise comes a traditional Irish dinner in a romantic setting. The boat slides along, passing through several locks along the way. You can actually watch the crew open and shut the locks, which is still done manually. It’s like something from Downton Abbey, although this is the missing chapter about the working class skivvies along the canal.
The boat has a fully licensed bar. If you get very inebriated and fall over, you only fall into knee-deep water, so even though wildly drunk, you’ll be fine. You will however probably be pecked in the head by weird swans who certainly don’t like you.
A two hour cruise with three course dinner €49.50
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